The Intimacy Factor [Kindle Edition]
Author: Pia Mellody - ISBN: B000XU4SZA - Language: English - Format: PDF, EPUB
DESCRIPTION
In her first book in over 10 years, Pia Mellody—author of the groundbreaking bestsellers Facing Codependence and Facing Love Addiction—shares her profound wisdom on what it takes to sustain true intimacy and trusting love in our most vital relationships.
Drawing on more than 20 years' experience as a counsellor at the renowned Meadows Treatment Centre in Arizona, Mellody now shares what she has learned about why intimate relationships falter—and what makes them work. Using the most up–to–date research and real–life examples, including her own compelling personal journey, Mellody provides readers with profoundly insightful and practical ground rules for relationships that achieve and maintain joyous intimacy.
This invaluable resource helps diagnose the causes of faulty relationships—many of them rooted in childhood—and provides tools for readers to heal themselves, enabling them to establish and maintain healthy relationships.
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DETAILS
- File Size: 259 KB
- Print Length: 242 pages
- Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0060095806
- Publisher: HarperCollins e-books; Reprint edition (October 13, 2009)
- Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0060095806
- ISBN-13: 978-0060095802
- ASIN: B000XU4SZA
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Lending: Not Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #47,810 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
- #82 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Mate Seeking
REVIEWS
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Pia Mellody notes in the beginning of THE INTIMACY FACTOR that her deepest reason for writing the book was "to acknowledge the role of spirituality in intimate relationships." This is in itself is a worthy goal; spirituality (general, not within a specfic religious framework) as specifically applied to relationships is not addressed often enough, and it's a frequently forgotten part of too many partnerships. Mellody writes that true sprituality is the realization that God is Love and we can trust in that Love. That love is what restores to us the truth of our own inherent worth, thereby enabling us to have truly intimate relationships with other human beings.
Following an initial discussion along these lines, Mellody spends most of the rest of the book describing the concept of boundaries -- the "psychological passages" through which we both express our truth and recieve the emotions and words of others. She explains how functional boundaries lead to a spiritual relationship with God and good relationships with people, and the various ways in which dysfunctional boundaries can impair relationships. She also talks about how "boundary work" therapy helps to restore boundaries to healthy function.
Mellody's descriptions of boundaries are both interesting and very useful -- you can really see where how your own boundaries are functioning (or not) and what you can do to improve them. However, she ascribes all boundary dysfunction to myriad possible forms of abuse in childhood (often more subtle than your stereotypical drunken and physcially abusive parent.) While this is interesting and helpful as well, I think it is a stretch to say that ALL relationship problems stem from childhood abuse. Does everyone have abusive parents?
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